


Laurent's Revenge

by thewriterofperfectdisasters



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Again, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Hospitals, M/M, i wrote this instead of my latin assignment due tomorrow lol oops sorry professor!, this is apparently just how my life is now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 20:09:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15692523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriterofperfectdisasters/pseuds/thewriterofperfectdisasters
Summary: ‘He has skills,’ Laurent said, biting into the bar. ‘Expertise, even.’‘In eating ass?’Laurent nodded, a slightly glazed look coming over his face for a moment. ‘It’s one of the main reasons I’m dating him.’Jord looked impressed. ‘I always wondered how he hooked you.’‘I am not afish, Jord,’ Laurent paused thoughtfully. ‘That being said, there was a finger in –’





	Laurent's Revenge

**Author's Note:**

> a couple weeks back, my favourite enabler (you know who u are) tagged me in [this](http://damiaanos.tumblr.com/post/176534260808/tetrodotoxinb-theshitneyspears) and uhhh apparently this shit is my legacy now so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ here we are i guess lol. apologies for the terrible title. 
> 
> follow up to [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15300498) and [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15338658) though you don't need to read either of them to understand this.

Damen was very much beginning to hate how frequent his visits to the emergency room were getting. He was tempted to ask for a frequent flyer card – every sixth visit lets you skip the queues and go directly to a room.

At least this time, it was actually _Damen_ who needed medical assistance. Not that he’d ever wanted to find himself in this position. Literally. The neck brace was uncomfortable. But not as uncomfortable as Damen having to explain what happened every time a new member of staff was introduced to the situation.

Laurent was sitting next to him, one leg up and over the arm of the chair, acting very blasé about the whole thing, like it wasn’t his fault. Of course, no, nothing was ever Laurent’s fault.

Cut back a few hours, and it had _very much_ been Laurent’s fault.

The evening had been going as usual – dinner, Netflix, light making out on the couch that turned to slightly heavier making out, and then to Laurent huskily demanding they head to the bedroom. Clothes littered the way from the living room to the edge of the hallway, because they were practiced in the art of stripping quickly, and the situation had devolved into Laurent wrapping his legs around Damen’s hips and being carried to the bed.

Which turned into a bit of grinding and gasping, and Laurent flipping them, so he was on top, and moved so he could clutch the headboard and ride Damen’s face a little. Only a little. Gently. Kind of. An attempt at gentle was made.

But then Damen did this _thing_ , and God, Laurent bucked his hips a little too hard, and Damen was slapping his ass, and not in a sexy way. More a _get off me!_ way, which Laurent was honestly a little hurt at, until he saw Damen’s face.

‘What?’ he pouted. ‘Why did you do that?’

‘I just heard something crack, Laurent,’ Damen said, very quietly, like he was afraid talking would… do something.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, something in my neck just cracked, it hurts, and I am pretty sure that’s not a good thing.’

Laurent groaned. ‘Why do these things always happen to me?’

‘I’m sorry, to _you_?’ Damen asked.

‘I was having so much fun.’

‘Laurent, can you please be a little more concerned about me right now?’

Laurent rolled his eyes, like he was being put upon so greatly. ‘What do you want me to do?’

‘Call an ambulance preferably. I’ll just lie here very calmly.’

‘Good idea.’

Which was how the paramedics ended up wrapping a brace around Damen’s neck, and carting him, naked, to the hospital. Clothes had been brought by Laurent, but he was deposited into a private room, complete with hospital gown and slippers, and would be left as such until tests had been completed to determine the nature of his… injury.

Much to Laurent’s joy, Jord was on shift in the paediatric ward upstairs, and made his way to them while on break.

‘So,’ Jord asked, swinging into the room and flopping into an extra chair, banana in hand. ‘What happened?’

‘Which version of the story do you want?’ Laurent asked, holding his hand out for the protein bar Jord had sticking out the pocket of his scrubs. ‘Long or short?’

‘Whatever is more embarrassing.’

‘It’s all embarrassing,’ Damen said. ‘One just has more detail.’

‘I want that one.’

‘Well, we were on the bed,’ Laurent began. ‘I was sitting on –’

‘I was rimming him and he squashed my neck,’ Damen interrupted, getting it over and done with. ‘He literally broke me with his thighs.’

Jord grinned, looking between them to see if it was a lie. ‘Seriously?’

‘He has skills,’ Laurent said, biting into the bar. ‘Expertise, even.’

‘In eating ass?’

Laurent nodded, a slightly glazed look coming over his face for a moment. ‘It’s one of the main reasons I’m dating him.’

Jord looked impressed. ‘I always wondered how he hooked you.’

‘I am not a _fish_ , Jord,’ Laurent paused thoughtfully. ‘That being said, there was a finger in –’

‘Hello!’ a doctor said cheerfully, sliding into the room and thankfully putting a stop to the conversation before Damen did by unstrapping his neck brace. He spotted Jord and frowned at the scrubs. ‘Do you work here?’

‘Paediatrics. I’m on break,’ Jord said. ‘Please, continue.’

‘It’s fine,’ Laurent said, when the doctor looked to be about to protest. ‘He’s a friend.’

The doctor shrugged and slipped an x-ray into the light board. ‘So,’ he began, pointing at one of Damen’s vertebrae, which looked no different to the others. ‘There looks to be a bit of compression, and that seems to be the only real damage, so the good news is you don’t need surgery.’

‘Great, and the bad news?’ Damen asked.

‘You’ll be in the brace for at least a month. We’ll have you come back and we’ll check how things are going.’

‘A month.’

‘Yes.’

‘That’s inconvenient,’ Laurent muttered.

‘This is _your_ fault,’ Damen muttered back.

The doctor blinked politely and ignored them, flipping his notes closed. ‘So, we’ll set you up with everything, some painkillers too, and send you home. Get you an appointment with a specialist in a month or so and check in. Sound good?’

‘I don’t have many options, so yeah.’

‘You have no options,’ the doctor said with a smile, far too chipper. ‘Someone will be in soon with all your information and prescription, but you can change out of the gown if you want.’

‘Okay, thank you,’ Damen said awkwardly, as the doctor left without waiting for any response. The emergency room was probably full of other people who had done stupid things, too.

‘A month in a brace for eating ass,’ Jord said. ‘My hero.’

‘Please, you wouldn’t pull this shit for Aimeric,’ Damen said, swinging his legs over the bed to stand.

‘Hey, I love him –’

‘Would you let him literally break your neck?’

‘Did you do this willingly?’

Damen frowned. ‘The… I don’t know.’

‘See, that’s my point.’

‘Who said it wasn’t on purpose?’ Laurent asked, handing Damen a pair of sweatpants. ‘Maybe this was my revenge for Damen breaking _my_ neck.’

‘It was your throat and you loved every minute of it,’ Damen said, straining to get his pants on. ‘Can I get some help, please?’

‘Jord?’

‘He’s your boyfriend,’ Jord protested.

‘You’re a nurse.’

‘I’m on break,’ Jord said, waving a granola bar that he pulled out of somewhere, ‘and he’s not my boyfriend.’

‘Laurent, don’t be such a dick, just help me put on pants,’ Damen whined. ‘I don’t even care about a shirt. Just the pants. I’m not wearing anything under this gown.’

‘Fine,’ Laurent said, rolling his eyes and acting like it was the world’s worst punishment, even with the small smile and fond look on his face. He helped Damen sit, slide on the pants, stand, and pull them over his ass. ‘Gown off?’

‘Please. It smells like hospital.’

Laurent untied the three strings that had been protecting Damen’s modesty, and slid it off him. ‘Better?’

‘Yes, thank you,’ Damen said. ‘But I’m still mad you put me in a brace.’

‘I’m also mad I put you in a brace.’

‘You two are gross,’ Jord piped up. ‘So, did you tell anyone else yet?’

‘Why?’ Laurent asked.

‘I think Auguste would really get a kick out of knowing you broke Damen after he broke you.’

Laurent’s face lit up. ‘You’re right,’ he said, grabbing his phone and immediately opening Snapchat, taking a photo of Damen looking utterly resigned to his fate, captioned it: _Got my revenge_.

‘You planned this, didn’t you?’ Damen asked, sitting back on the bed.

‘I would _never_ ,’ Laurent said. ‘I like you too much.’

‘To what, intentionally break my neck?’

‘Yes.’

‘That’s comforting, thank you.’

Laurent’s phone lit up, and he grinned as he opened it, turning his phone to Damen. ‘Look.’

All Auguste’s reply said was, _“I absolutely do not want to know. Good night.”_

‘I’m gonna tell him,’ Laurent said, already typing.

‘Don’t tell him.’

‘I’m telling him.’

‘Fuck, Laurent.’

‘That’s how we got here in the first place.’

Damen sighed. ‘You’re terrible.’

‘But you love me,’ Laurent said, looking up for a moment to wink at him.

‘God help me, I do.’

‘I’m gonna go, you two are gross,’ Jord repeated. ‘If you’re gonna bang, do it now so that way you’re already at the hospital if things go pear-shaped.’

‘Thanks for the tip,’ Damen said drily.

‘I’m a medical professional, it’s what I do,’ Jord said seriously.

‘Auguste replied,’ Laurent said, as his phone went off once more. ‘Guess what he said to my detailed explanation?’

‘If he congratulated you, I’ll be having a conversation with your brother that he’s not gonna like,’ Damen warned.

Laurent shook his head. ‘He just sent me some puking emojis.’

‘Yeah,’ Jord nodded. ‘I feel that.’

**Author's Note:**

> (i'm on [tumblr](http://damiaanos.tumblr.com)!)


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